Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Episode 07- Football vs. Soccer

The inevitable debate between a Brit and a Texan will come down to sports. One nation loves sweaty guys in shorts while the other likes sweaty guys in helmets- either way there are sweaty guys involved (mmm).


(Lani looks a little funny today and the sound didn't match up with the mouth (because the Soccer lovers have infiltrated the interwebs, it's a conspiracy)... get the hell over it.)

PS: thanks Derek for sneaking around the office to do Snarky Girls, I hope you don't get fired. ;)


Snarky Girls said...

Poppy, I brought in an expert on this one (and someone who wasn't required to wear makeup today). You're wrong. SOCCER IS CRAP and if I hear anyone outside of America call it "football" I'll punch them in the jugular. Oh, and your abuse of the word pussy is disgusting- I can't believe you'd desecrate something so beautiful (and by that I mean football AND the P word). I don't know man, this might put a strain on the show... you gave me that Texas is better, why not sports? DAMN, GIRL!


PoppyD said...


I know that you knew you couldn't defend your favourite sport...and so chickened out and got McLovin as a stand in.

Don't worry, when I come to Austin you can try to convert me, as long as I get to drink and swear loudly in the crowd I will probably enjoy it.

Much love,


Snarky Girls said...

Dear Poppy, if I had makeup on I would have (I may do a followup anyhow...). But seriously, you can't defend your favorite spelling. Come correct, yo.


PS: cussing and drinking consist of 64% of football so it sounds like a match made in heaven.

Mike Neumann said...

Poppy, when you do come to TX, please come on the week of our Thanksgiving Holiday. Several advantages to that; 1) Food, lots of it. We'll invite ourselves to Casa Rosales. Done., 2) You can witness a real football match between Texas A&M (real men) and those lightly-orange-colored sissyboys from UT Austin.

Now, as to the matter at hand, which was (American, sigh, I use the modifier only here, so that you can keep up) Football and Footsie (er, Soccer); what is it with the soccer sweeties acting, yes acting, all hurt when one wittle boy bumps in to another wittle boy? If this were indeed a physical match, slide-tackles would not only be legal, but encouraged.

Clearly, the un-manliness of Soccer was on your mind because, dearest, you felt the need to bring up those truly obscure Brit-only games of Rugby and Cricket. But while we're here, have your Neanderthal Rugby chap receive a Football-style kickoff and run up the middle like we do, and take a tackle head-on without his helmet; full speed. He'll be sipping out of a straw and mumbling "Rosebud" for the rest of his life.

Besides, Rugby and Cricket, were both created simply as a way for London to keep the colonies confused. Never took here, because, well, we kicked the Red Coats sorry asses out of here before they could melt our brains with either of those "sports".

Carry on, Lovely. You gave it a good go, today. :)

-- Mike
Sub Minister of Snark

Lisa Sanderson said...

Poppy, you are so cute and adorable that you have converted me. NOT. C'mon, honey, you can't be serious. What happened to the chick who espoused the benefits of manly men in the manscaping episode? When have you ever seen a soccer player that wasn't as hairless as a girl? You are sorely confused and need that trip to the States muy mucho and asap.

Lani, may I please be unfired now?


Bob Schenkenberger said...

Soccer has no offense, and Urine Bombs. Football has the Hail Mary, and much better Wagering!

Nuff Said

Pat and Wayne said...

Let's play a little word association game, shall we?




Just sayin'.

Raj said...



To be fair, you're right in pointing out that one is a world sport and the other isn't, hence the terms "World Cup" and "American

Which brings me onto the subject of the World Series...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpKVoOtlW-4 (go to 4mins25-6mins15)

Don't get me wrong, soccer isn't my favourite sport by any means. Rugby requires balls, and not just the oval one.

I train with Rugby guys at my local gym and you certainly wouldn't wanna be shouting the P word out when they're training unless a feline creature happened to be walking by at the time :-)

Tally ho!

P.S. A super star prize for the first person here to call a certain Mr. Vinnie Jones "hairless as a girl" in person...

PoppyD said...

Mike...cricket and rugby are played all over the world, so don't say they are Brit only sports. But I agree, the pretty boys who play soccer are pussies too. And yes, I would like to come to TX during thanksgiving and eat myself silly, thanks!

Lisa....I saw you say I'm cute and adorable and didn't read any further, no more needed to be said as you clearly think I rule.

bob....none of that made sense to me.

pat and wayne....agreed, both of the sports are pretty lame.

raj...i love you and thank you for recognizing that I am, indeed, always correct.

Grant said...

10 reasons why soccer beats the pants off American Football (no pun intended)

10. No tights in soccer - they'll lock you up and throw away the key.
9. No wussy ass commercial breaks so everyone can catch their breath.
8. Soccer is 90 minutes - American Football is 4 hours of which 30 minutes is actual playing time.
7. Soccer doesnt need 15 overpaid umps to control the chaos.
6. Soccer only needs 3 substitutes per side per game - not the 30-odd other schmos sitting on the bench with a fan blowing in their ear
5. American Football penalties - the ump throws a yellow flag...in soccer...they sling them off the pitch.
4.Soccer is played all over the world - so when we crown a world champion...it actually means something
3.Soccer season is 38 games in England - not 16
2. Football...by definition...is a game that requires kicking, not throwing...it should be called American Tossball
1. The songs in soccer rock!!

Lots of Love

@RealSeekr and @GiaBFreer

Anonymous said...

@McLovin: Goooooooooooaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllll
(pero di lo en espanol. :-P)