Adios, Snarky Girls

Poppy and Lani have had a great time with nearly 40 episodes of Snarky Girls and it's time to say goodbye. You can still catch us around the social media universe, but we never got an offer from HBO to employ us full time, so we have to focus on our day jobs. We enjoyed being smarty pants with you guys and send our hugs and snark your way.

Thanks for watching!

Episode 38- Doggin VH1's Pick Up Artist

Today, Lani flies solo because we're talking about American things. If you haven't seen trailers for or the actual show of "The Pick Up Artist," it's awesome. Well, it's awful but it's fun to watch. What does Lani think of the host?

Episode 37: How Tall are the Snarky Girls?

Today we're talking about how tall we are: one of us emasculates men with our height, the other can't reach crap on shelves... you'll never guess who's who. TELL US in the comments which is the hotter height and why!

LANI'S TAKE:


POPPY'S TAKE:

Snarky Girls and Spam Emails

So today we were asked how to tackle spam emails, forward emails and all the general crap that can fill up your inbox if you look away for two seconds. You'll notice that Lani isn't here today, she's painted her toenails red and moved to Barbados with a unicorn, so don't worry about her. (Actually, she's just super busy working on a secret thing to do with AgentGenius, but the unicorn idea sounded cooler.)

Anyway...it's all about spam baby!

Where has this douchebag been?

So I (this is Poppy btw) haven't been around lately. I know what the tabloids have been saying, I'm pregnant with Dustin Hoffman's child and all that hullabaloo. I can assure you that is not the case (though I would love to be given the chance to make a baby with Dustin, so if you know him, do a girl a favour!)

I've just been unusually quiet because, well...you'll see....

Episode 35- Poppy Sucks

Episode 34- Heritage

Today, we're talking about our heritage and one is clearly better than the other. Tell us about YOUR heritage (and also, reinforce in the comments which of us has the better heritage)!

Also, one of us was too lazy to post this and it's no longer the holiday one of us references in the video. Sorry. Our bad.

LANI'S TAKE:


POPPY'S TAKE:

Episode 33- stupid question

Poppy's still on holiday, so Kim Wood guest hosts today and is PARTICULARLY snarky (while Lani somehow again mistakes perky for snarky). Should hats be worn forward or backward? See who BRINGS IT with props and who prefers to talk about undies...

POPPY'S TAKE:


LANI'S TAKE:

Episode 32- Music Prefs

Today, Poppy cut her hair off and overdosed on Testosterone pills (and likes crazy music) while Lani films from an angle where her hair looks crazy (but it's not) and has amazing taste in music. Do we like country or rap, classical or hard metal?

POPPY'S TAKE:

PS: @PilchardMusic in the video above is an amazing amazing artist despite band nerdery, check out his remix (NSFW)!!!


LANI'S TAKE:


Lastly, we wish Poppy a blessed Yom Kippur, may this day of atonement bring her peace and blessings.

Episode 31- Recycling and Hippies

One of us takes labels off of cans and rinses them and recycles everything possible, the other drowns unicorns (and then says "screw you all!"). Well, that's what happens you don't recycle, right? Well at least we both look particularly hot today!

LANI'S TAKE:


POPPY'S TAKE:

Episode 30- Does Size Matter?

We've gotten this question so many times and always ignored it, but we thought we'd go ahead and tell you today whether or not size matters (and oddly enough, Poppy & Lani are wearing a similar shirt but are oceans away, weird):

POPPY'S TAKE:


LANI'S TAKE:

Episode 29- childhood memories

Today, Lani tells a story that thousands of people have been waiting on (and everyone will surely call her bonkers after they see this) and Poppy remembers going to the Disney store as a fetus-sized (isn't that weird)? Also, we don't look hot today but you'll see why:

LANI'S TAKE:


POPPY'S TAKE:

Episode 28- Energy Getting?

Today we've been asked where we get all of our energy from and one of us volunteers and works two full time jobs over 120 hours per week while the other one bitches if she doesn't get her heroin break every 20 minutes... so can you guess which is which?

LANI'S TAKE:


POPPY'S TAKE:

Episode 27 - Getting ready regime

So today we discuss how we get ready in the mornings, because should you ever have the pleasure of waking up one with one us in your bed...it's a good idea to know how long we'll hog the bathroom for.

Lani's not at her puter today (with good reason) so you'll have to make do with hearing my side of the story for now. I'm sure Lani will chime in tomorrow to let you know she doesn't even wear make up because she wakes up so effing sexy....and as for showering, showering is for losers.

Episode 26- facially hairy men

Snarky Girls owe you an apology. Poppy & Lani checked into a mental health facility last week (voluntarily, relax) and have just been released to the care of their male life partners. They are now highly medicated and likely to be more snarky and entertaining but don't tell them they both got frontal lobotomies, it will make them insecure.

Today, let's talk about facial hair where Lani doesn't share her true feelings (about pedo baseball players having a standard facial hair style) while mixing up the words mustache and beard more than once and in Poppy's take you can hear a hairy guy singing soprano in the background (listen closely):

POPPY'S TAKE:


LANI'S TAKE:

Episode 25- snarky girl compulsions

Today we're talking about weird compulsions we each have. One of us is eating cookies and putting things at 90 degree angles, the other is licking toppings and won't admit their insane compulsions are, in fact, insane:

LANI'S TAKE:


POPPY'S TAKE:

Episode 24- Coke or Pepsi?

Believe it or not, today's question comes from Jeff (but NOT the Jeff who's dominated the last week of Snarky Girls with his questions, this is a way different, hairier Jeff! He wants to know what's better, Coke or Pepsi and Poppy's on a plane somewhere, so Lani's flying solo, be sure to comment about how great she looks today because the Jeffs will not have her back in the comments today!

LANI'S TAKE:

Episode 23- Daddy or Chips?

One of us knows what the hell this means, the other doesn't... gee, what a surprise:

LANI'S TAKE:


POPPY'S TAKE:


PS: sorry I missed posting the Sunday Screw Ups... if you miss them terribly, Poppy's are on YouTube and Lani's are in her head (good luck with that).

Episode 22- Guitar Hero v. Karaoke

Today, one of us is pissy about something unrelated and takes it out on the poor fan with a simple question (but has great earrings on) and the other doesn't know anything about anything (but has a cute top on), check it out:

POPPY'S TAKE:


LANI'S TAKE:


_____________________________
We've taken several comparison questions lately and although they're awesome, we're excited about the questions rolling in about facial hair, places to take a chick on a date, what freaks us out and crazy college stories, so keep 'em comin'!

Bonus- SIX Things About Each Snarky Girl

Poppy's out of town and we got tagged by my AWESOME friend Laurie, (THE HR expert) for a meme that requires we BOTH tell 6 things about ourselves. So I'll tell you mine and make up Poppy's for her, knowing full well hers are false:

LANI'S SIX:

1. I don't like Halloween haunted houses, I get freaked out because I can't see and even when I can, I still jump when Jason comes at me with a saw. I don't scream, I grab on to whoever's in front of me, regardless of who they are.

2. I've lived in Spain and Mexico and have a degree in Spanish but had no one to practice with when I came home so it's mostly gone now.

3. I have an affinity for cheese. I ate so much as a child I had to take suppositories many times. Totally worth it.

4. I have an insane fear of turkeys and am completely happy to eat them at Thanksgiving since one attacked me as a child in a wildlife reserve. I hate you, turkeys.

5. I can cook Mexican food really well.

6. Fernet is my least favorite alcohol. Absinthe was less harsh, I'm not even kidding. Anyone who offers me a shot of Fernet will get karate chopped in the neck.

POPPY'S SIX:

1. Poppy is 6'7" tall.
2. Poppy is Elton John's stylist.
3. Poppy's biggest fears are puppies, nuns and Jack Black.
4. She's a pianist and was a child prodigy but now only plays rap.
5. Her glasses are fake.
6. Poppy is 4'9" tall.

THOSE WHO ARE TAGGED (non-optional, blog it wherever you like):
1. Pilchard
2. JeffX
3. Drew Fristoe
4. @jcsalterego
5. The Mudflap
6. THE Lisa Sanderson


The rules to play are …
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on the blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post.
5. Let each person know they have been tagged.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

Laurie threatened to give me a purple nurple if this is broken, so do your part!!!

Episode 21- Friendfeed v. Facebook

Poppy makes fun of Jeff for asking another comparison question and Lani tells you a gory nasty bloody ER story. Whatever, we're both looking extra hot today so watch:

LANI'S TAKE:


POPPY'S TAKE:

Episode 20- Tom Brady vs. David Beckham

Today's edition of Snarky Girls is about sports! Don't get any crazy ideas, neither of us are wearing cheerleading uniforms (although at least one of us has one in the closet). One of us isn't wearing makeup and the other didn't know who one of these guys was...

POPPY'S TAKE:


LANI'S TAKE:

Episode 19- Spiderman v. Batman

One of us is shallow and can't defend herself because she's traveling, the other of us prefers straight guys and takes cheap shots at her bff the other Snarky Girl... guess which is which:

LANI'S TAKE:


POPPY'S TAKE:

Episode 18- WP vs Typepad

We're entertaining Jeff Corbett by answering ANOTHER of his questions but Lani sucks and didn't answer it, so let's see how Poppy holds her own (although she's in Israel):

Episode 17- Mac v. PC

Today's question regards our preferences between Mac and PCs and as always, we take quite the opposite views here and if we were in the same country, we'd surely be in a cat fight (or a pillow fight, oooh).

LANI'S TAKE:


POPPY'S TAKE:

Sunday's Snarky Screw Ups- Week 03

It seems like we're perfect, but here's proof we're only ALMOST perfect. Also: Lani's a cheat because she did everything in one take so presents you with part 1 of 4 of the most hysterical thing to happen ever.

POPPY'S TAKE:


LANI'S TAKE:

Episode 16- Twitter Tools

Today we're talking about tools. No not like that, dirty voyeur, Twitter tools! Since Twitter is the best thing since sliced bread, we were asked what sexy Twitter tools we use and this time we want to know what YOU use and why- something shiny and sexy or something demure and classic?

ps: follow us at @snarkygirls on twitter now!

POPPY'S TAKE:


LANI'S TAKE:

Episode 15- Loud vs. Quiet

Which is better, a loud confident man or a quiet reserved man? Poppy tells you whether or not being Emo is sexy and Lani (who personally knows the questioner) unfairly invites him to chit chat with two taken girls, it's a laugh.

LANI'S TAKE:


POPPY'S TAKE:

Episode 14- Metrosexuals

Today the snarky girls talk about Metrosexuals and it may get heated... keep viewing...

POPPY'S TAKE:


LANI'S TAKE:

Episode 13- cats vs dogs

Someone seriously asked "which is better- cats or dogs?" You'll never guess which of us is the crazy ol' cat lady:

LANI'S TAKE:



POPPY'S TAKE:

Episode 12- Tea v. Coffee

Today's hot question is about which is better- hot tea or hot coffee? Either way, there's hotness all around....

POPPY'S TAKE:


LANI'S TAKE:

Sunday's Snarky Screw Ups- Week 02

It's hard to imagine we're not perfect... here are the bloopers for the week. Lani's dog interrupts again with his narcolepsy/rigor mortis and Poppy had a really rough week with the camera...

LANI'S SCREW UPS:


POPPY'S SCREW UPS:

Episode 11- Trannies

Today's anonymous question is about this flickr group featuring men dressing as women (and might we add that the fashion choices are AWE.SOME). The question is "wtf?" and you'll be surprised at who's naughty and who's nice...

POPPY'S TAKE:


LANI'S TAKE:

Episode 10- Internet A-Holes

Jeff asks today why people are so pissy online... Lani had to do a couple of takes because she kept cussing too flagrantly and Poppy wore a wife beater top. What more do you need to know?

LANI'S TAKE:


POPPY'S TAKE:

Episode 09- Skinny Dipping

We knew we'd end up having to talk to you about nudity some day, but we didn't know you'd get so excited so early on in the series! Poppy and Lani actually agree for once and you'll never guess who needs their mout washed out with soap...

POPPY'S TAKE:


LANI'S TAKE:

Episode 08- Hard Heels (wth?)

Another hygiene question is asked today and apparently it's HAT day at Snarky Girls. Dr. Lani and Poppy Parmesan (you'll get it later) talk about hard heels and it's gross.

LANI'S TAKE:


POPPY'S TAKE:

Episode 07- Football vs. Soccer

The inevitable debate between a Brit and a Texan will come down to sports. One nation loves sweaty guys in shorts while the other likes sweaty guys in helmets- either way there are sweaty guys involved (mmm).

POPPY'S TAKE:


LANI'S TAKE:
(Lani looks a little funny today and the sound didn't match up with the mouth (because the Soccer lovers have infiltrated the interwebs, it's a conspiracy)... get the hell over it.)


PS: thanks Derek for sneaking around the office to do Snarky Girls, I hope you don't get fired. ;)

Episode 06

Hardcore geekdom is today's topic- is it a good or a bad thing to be a big ol' geek? Lani says the word "nerdy" but it sounds like "dirty" (and she *swears* she said "nerdy") and Poppy teaches you how to spell an essential three letter word that will get geeks laid.

LANI'S TAKE:


POPPY'S TAKE:

Sunday's Snarky Screw Ups Week 01

Since Sundays were made for rest (although we don't even know what rest means anymore), we thought we'd show you our screw ups made throughout the week so you can share in our misery of imperfection. Although don't tell either of us to our faces we're not perfect because we'll make up an embarrassing question on your behalf and insure everyone refocuses and throws rocks at you.

POPPY'S TAKE:


LANI'S TAKE:

Episode 05

Today's question is about a big fat zit, no lie. It's gross, you should watch. Poppy is too important to show up today but it's cool because some days I too will be too cool for the Snarky Girls show.

ALSO: tune in tomorrow to see out takes from the show for the "Sunday Snark Screw Ups" where we humble ourselves to you and prove we're not just hot robot chicks.

LANI'S TAKE:


POPPY'S TAKE:
I'm sipping tea and eating crumpets with my boyfriend's family. Lani's answer is so good that I should probably stay away from the camera today anyhow. Cheerio!

Episode 04

Today's topic is villains. The Texas answer is far different from the British answer but forgive Poppy because she's broadcasting from her parents' house with a stupid teddy bear co-host while Lani broadcasts from the dining room (where it looks like plants are coming out of her head but they're not).

PS: if you want to see all the episodes in one easy place, bookmark our YouTube channel now!

LANI'S TAKE:


POPPY'S TAKE:

Episode 03

Today, we address which of our hometowns is better- Austin or London? Poppy's in a really really pissy mood today and *really really* lets you know what she thinks while Lani tells a white lie (see if you can catch it) and says "vowels" even though you may think she said "bowels." Let us know in the comments which YOU think is better- Texas or the UK!

POPPY'S TAKE:


LANI'S TAKE:

Episode 02

Today's question is regarding hairy chests and whether the two hot snarky girls like men with hairy chests. Oh, and Lani's having a bad hair day and is very sensitive about it and would prefer no one comment on it, let's stick to other people's hair, k?

LANI'S TAKE:

POPPY'S TAKE:

Episode 01

Today's question is about dating and veganism and the answers couldn't be more different. Oh and by the way, Poppy totally referenced the wrong band on purpose..she knows it's Dead Eye Dick that sung that song and she was just testing y'all, k?

Poppy's Take:

Lani's Take: